Friday, May 9, 2008

Dear Thailand (again),

Look, I'm sorry. I didnt' really mean those things. You don't have to cry. Seriously, it's my last day on the island and you're RAINING NOW. It was gorgeous just a few minutes ago, I was just about to head to the beach. But NO, you have to be all dramatic and start POURING. Wah wah wah. Look at me, I'm Thailand and I'm sad. Wah.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I am not angry with you. It's just the little things you know? I want to love you. I do. But you make it hard. So damn hard. You're beautiful, Thailand, don't get me wrong. You're stunning... sometimes you look a little hookerish--NO WAIT, I didn't mean that. I just mean, you don't have to do much to look good and sometimes, well, you're a little trashy. You are very pretty but on the inside, Thailand, you're not really my type.

What we had was great, most of the time. But it has to end because there's not future for us. And do you really want to end it this way? Can't we just remember the good times? Can't you let me leave with a smile instead of a frown? Thailand, don't make me hate you. Can't you let me sit on the beach with a pina colada PLEASE???

STOP RAINING! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!

Oh, screw you, Thailand. I'm leaving you -- go have fun with those Aussies I saw you eyeing up. I'm out.

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