Dear Mosquitos in My Room:

Why my elbows? Why my knees? All of this to feast on (have you seen the size of my backside?) and these are the areas you choose? You're making me look like a victim of the pox and as soon as I have one of those electric racquets of mosquito DOOM, you're toast.

Consider your days numbered, you little jerks. But hopefully reincarnation will bring you back as something slightly more palatable next time. Like a Republican.